(...) During the last sentence, my girlfriend kept visiting me for 2 years and 3 months. In the last 6 months she was no longer able to come because I was far away. I was at Bârcea, at more than 400 km away from Bucharest. She stopped visiting me, but instead, we talked on the phone. We also talked on the mobile phone, in my room, and on the prison’s phone in the hallway. She also sent me letters; and sent me money too. So we kept in touch. The only problem was that I couldn’t see her. I believe that these 6 months were to blame for when I was in Jilava, I had that false impression that I had more or less control over her. There is no way you can control anyone while being here. And yet, this is what I felt then. It became a kind of monotony. In the past, the visits were scheduled per days and I knew that: on Wednesday she should come to visit; on Thursday and Friday she stayed at home and we talked on the phone. On Saturday and Sunday she might be going with her friends somewhere, in a park. On Monday and Tuesday she stayed at home, we talked on the phone. On Wednesday she would come to visit again. I was continuously talking to her and keeping in touch with her. I also talked to her mother. We had already become a family. It was something serious, no more a childish thing. Well, during these six months while I was away, everything got ruined. I had to leave because I got released quicker. I got released and I found her cold, distant, no more interested. However the relationship continued until I was caught again. We stayed together although it was no longer how I wished. When I received five years of imprisonment, she went away (26 years old, incarcerated for theft).
For me, my child’s future is a real problem because I don’t want the history of my life to repeat in his case. At this point, my child is in a similar situation to mine when I was a kid. He doesn’t grow up beside his parents. I am here, and his mother is away to Italy. She comes to Romania every three months. My sun is being raised by my mother-in-law and my grand-parents. Just like me. When I was a kid nobody communicated with me. I will never do that with my child. I want to be able to explain him what is right and what is wrong, but in a manner in which he likes it. But also considering my life experience filled with good and bad acts. Every time I talk to him, I do this openly because I don’t want him to repeat my mistakes. I don’t want him to act and think like I did, in certain key moments of life (29 years old, incarcerated for homicide).